“What do you want to do when you graduate?”

I’ve been asked so many times, I seem to know this question is coming before it does.  The question is an innocent one, although it really asks, “What are you going to do with your life?” in a less dire manner. Anyone and everyone will ask this question with a smile on their face, expecting a nicely packaged and neat answer.  But, for me, the question is far from simple.

As much as we humans fail to admit it, we answer questions based on who is asking to a certain degree. With that in mind, the answer I give can vary dramatically.  However, the answer begins always with the same three words: “I’m not sure.” I’ll say it with a smile in an effort to muster up some optimism, but the reality is that I wish I knew. There are three options that serve as answers which are mildly satisfying – at the very most – for me.

Admittedly, the fact that my answer depends so much on external factors is not the best form of motivation for a lifelong endeavor.  On the other hand, the external factor I refer to might just be the person asking the question. There are many people in my life that know me through golf and have been generous on behalf of my golf career, so if they were to ask me I would say I want to play golf professionally. Now, if someone who doesn’t know my ins and outs asks me, I would say “you know, I just want to build my own empire, whatever that even means.” Simply put, I don’t like working under people. The final option only emerges among the people I’m closest with: “I might just go to Hollywood and be an actor.”  To be honest, all are somewhat appealing in different ways, but the genuine answer to the question changes day to day.

Yes, I know I said the motivation was external in the way I answer the question, but, I want to take you through what actually goes through my mind and how I would answer the question despite the profile of the asker.  If I’m loving golf and playing great, I would say I want to play golf professionally.  It feels right to say that when I really mean it because it means I can pay off the sacrifices that so many people have made for me to play golf at this level.  However, there are days when I think about all of the things I want in life that professional golf can’t give me. I might be imagining all of the silly, different things I want to build and accomplish, and on those days, I lean toward entrepreneur. The last option is just something I think I could do and I think it would be awesome.  The days I actually want to answer with “I’ll be an actor!”, I have to feel pretty good about myself (I scored low on the humility section of Principles You, so I guess that’s most days).  I hope that sounds convincing, but the answer really is always changing for me.  Even sitting and writing this, I’m torn between the three.  Maybe I’ll just do all three.

As exciting as it is to feel like I have options, that’s exactly what makes the question so annoying.  I wish I could wake up tomorrow morning and know exactly what I wanted to do.  It seems like everyone nowadays who is 20 years old knows what they want to do with their lives, and even more so among the students at Rice.  All this question does is remind me that I’m at an important crossroads with no remote idea of which turn I want to or am going to take. It reminds me that I’m just a confused kid at school treading water until I either get out of the pool and decide what I want to do or drown under the weight of the option.

With all that said, here are my takeaways from pondering this question independently. First, I don’t have to know yet; the reality is, all the teenagers and students that are crushing it and know what they want to do don’t make up the majority. Social media makes it seem that way, but I just have to be smart enough to see behind the smoke and mirrors. Second, it is not bad to have options.  Every time I weigh options of what I want to do in my head, it annoys me.  I sometimes wish I didn’t have options so I don’t have to handle the weight of choosing.  But, what if I didn’t love that one thing I had to do if I couldn’t choose? Don’t take having options for granted; it’s great to only have one option if you really love it, but not many of us live in a utopia.  I’m lucky enough to be damn close, let’s not nit pick things to get upset about. Last, live in the moment.  If I don’t make the best of where I am and what I’m doing right now, then I will have no options.  Enjoying life means being present and keeping the mind where the feet are, no matter what.  I trust myself and the skills I have, and I trust my decision making.  Whatever decision I make and whenever that is, I know it will be the right one because I’m the one making the decision.

So, the next time someone asks me “What do you want to do when you graduate?” the correct response for me is “I have options, and I’ll figure it out when the time comes.”