Speaking up used to terrify me. For most of my life, I let overthinking prevent me from taking action. Every interaction, every thought of branching out, felt like stepping into a spotlight. “What would they think if I said this?”“How will I be seen if I do that?” These questions constantly looped in my mind. I would script entire conversations in my head, then forget my lines when I tried to speak. Tethering me from expressing myself, reaching out, and truly connecting with new people. I convinced myself that everything in life fits into fixed blocks. Where friend groups were locked in boxes- you only got the people you started with. I was mentally trapped in the same circle I already knew, afraid to venture outward. 

Because of this mindset, I missed opportunities to do the things I loved or to engage with people who inspired me. I would watch others interact freely, confident and fearless, while I stayed on the sidelines. Paralyzed by the fear of being noticed at all, I carried this self-imposed limitation through secondary school and high school, letting fear dictate my social life and my choices. I was trapped in a world shaped by my closed thoughts, my insecurities, and my idea of a “spotlight” that never really existed.

But everything shifted during senior year. It was my final year of high school, and reality hit me: I would never see most of these people again. After almost a decade with the same people I would never have the chance to branch out again. That understanding gave me courage I hadn’t felt before. I started challenging myself little by little. By chiming into conversations that I wanted to contribute to and spending time with people I hadn’t before. This started with conversations I would have overanalyzed to death before. I watched myself step further  outside the comfort of my small, safe circle. With each attempt, I realized the spotlight I feared was nothing more than a construct in my own mind. People weren’t scrutinizing me, they were more worried about their own lives, just like I was. That realization freed me.

College expanded this transformation even further. I began to see the scale of what my overthinking had cost me: experiences, friendships, growth. I threw myself into new situations, joined communities I once avoided, and let myself be seen without obsessing with perception. Each time I acted despite my fear, I grew a little more confident, a little more outgoing. I learned that the discomfort of putting yourself out there is temporary, but the connections and opportunities it opens up can last a lifetime.

This mindset has allowed me to approach life differently. I no longer allow imagined judgments to dictate my choices. I speak up in class, reach out to strangers who spark my curiosity, and throw myself into experiences that once would have terrified me. And I know this is only the beginning. I’m still growing, still learning, but I am no longer confined by my own doubts. Because I stopped giving it power over me, the spotlight has vanished. In its place is the freedom to laugh at myself, connect with others, and make mistakes.