When people ask me the questions, “How do you have so much cheetah print?” and “Where do you get your cheetah print from?” I take it as the biggest compliment.
I had spent the afternoon after my AP Calculus on my phone, scrolling between Tik Tok and Instagram Reels. I was trying to let my brain relax and cool down, but as I was scrolling I kept getting videos on the historic E-Girl aesthetic. A fashion trend that was popularized during 2020. I had completely forgotten about the aesthetic, but quickly remembered how cool I thought it was at the time. One girl in particular at my high school embodied that fashion, from her striking eyeliner to her choker necklaces. I had been slightly jealous that she was able to effortlessly pull off this style at the time.
I switched from reels scrolling to instagram stalking. I looked at her most recent posts, all of which were perfectly curated to this effortless chic, cool girl style. There was zero e-girl influence in her recent posts, yet, I still had the same feeling I had in 2020, of wanting her photos and her clothes to be on my page.
Simultaneously, as I jumped back to Tik Tok, a video popped up of a guy doing an instagram rating where he would critique and give advice on how to make your instagram more aesthetic.
I realized I wanted this; my own personal style. However, I wanted to be the antithesis of these people I admired. I liked the idea of it to be as uncurated as possible and I didn’t want it to follow a fast fashion trend. I knew I couldn’t have a style like the people I was watching. It would be exhausting trying to mimic what and how they were doing things. There’s no way I could’ve got those exact boots and that exact photogenic background. Instead, I wanted something more “me.”
I saw my own style, as something that I liked for myself that people could relate me to and recognize me from. I began thinking, and most importantly, looking back at what I used to wear before I had ever had my own social media. I found that before I could dress myself, my mom would put me in cheetah print. LOTS of it. From my moms initial outfits, I unintentionally gravitated to picking out animal print throughout my preteen years, stopping when I realized it wasn’t popular. I decided to incorporate cheetah print back into my life.
To answer the questions, I usually either thrift my cheetah print or my mom picks out cheetah print items that she gifts me. It’s been wonderful that animal print started trending recently. Now, whenever I go into the mall I’m able to pick up something that relates to my style.
It is important for me to mention that I prefer dark cheetah spots. I’ve been seeing a lot of a yellow-brown combo trending while I prefer the dark brown-black combo of spots and fur. I believe the deeper coloring gives the print more of a timeless look.
Recently, though, I’ve been thinking about the drawbacks to this style detail in my wardrobe. For one, is it truly as uncurated as I intended it to be and does it truly represent me? I have spent hours in thrift stores, at the mall, and scrolling through pinterest looking for animal print. To me that sounds very curated. Additionally, as much as I love it, it’s still only a piece of clothing. It doesn’t represent the workings of my inner self.
These tailored, specific, items of clothing can’t exist outside of consumerism. If I see myself identifying with these clothes, does that imply that my identity cannot exist without consumerism?
Recently, I’ve been finding that music encapsulates who I am as a person more than the clothes I wear. Music, for me at least, is a very individual form of self expression. Most of the time no one knows the music I’m listening to. When I’m blasting a song from my headphones, I’m not doing it for anyone else but myself. There are no extra eyes, or ears in this case, on me. Music is also relatively inexpensive with me using a free spotify account. Having a dance party in my room in many ways feels more “me” than anything I could ever physically own.
While I intend to continue wearing my cheetah print, I’m also looking at how my identity can be tied to things outside of what can be purchased, such as music. I think that while personal style is an amazing way for us to communicate to others who we are, it’s just as important to start looking at what makes us us, if there were no outside influences.