It’s a name. It’s just a name. But it’s my name! It’s what people call me everyday. In fact, it is the sounds coming out of people everyday when they refer to me. An interesting juxtaposition is made between the thought- is it destroying my culture or am I Americanizing myself too much when I say I sometimes prefer Jyo? Well, It’s short and sweet. What’s wrong with that? Once in a while, I do get the occasional, “No, please, I want to get your name right- your whole name.” I appreciate that. I really do. It’s Jyotsna. Then, there is the “how do you spell that though?” and I will go through it step by step for them. 

 I respond, with all caution and reassurance, “Yeah, no worries, there is actually a Y after the J. It’s a little weird, but the Y is silent. So it’s pronounced Jo-tsnuh.” They get it now. Ohh, that’s not so bad. Not so bad at all!

Growing up, I often felt frustrated with entangling the complexity behind my name. Spelling it out often felt like a burden. It was so easy to be called Jo, first by neighbors and close friends in high school, and more by everyone when I got to college. In fact, as I got older and went off to college – I started to observe how people reacted to it. Other people acknowledged its pronunciation and uniqueness more than I did, and it was gratifying when people genuinely wanted to get it right.They actually appreciated its uniqueness and the effort it took to pronounce! Suddenly, Jyotsna wasn’t something that I wanted to shrink away from, it was a name that carried its own grace. Jyotsna is a beautiful name, full of culture, and it has taken me years to realize that.  

The thing is, there is so much more than just the fact that it’s shorter. There is something about Jyo that sticks. It’s a tagline for a lot of people, and something grounding about how “Jyo/Jo” sounds-  “We did it, Joe!” or “A cup of Joe”, or “JoJoSiwa.” Phonetically thinking, it is actually hyper present in society and pop culture. It’s recognizable! It gives me both pride and comfort to see my nickname be present in familiar contexts. Unlike Jyotsna, it is so much easier to see on a travel souvenir. It;s as if my name is instantly pulled into that well-trodden phrase whether they realize it or not. In Schitt’s Creek, I’ll come across Moira Rose’s exaggerated “Jo..” and it makes me realize how much names can take on their own personas in popular culture. With the character Jo March from Little Women, I can identify with the character for her resiliency, steadfastness, and ethics. Overall, as a relatable name that is familiar in culture, it’s as though the name itself takes on a bigger sense of meaning outside of me, and makes the people around me feel at ease as soon as I shorten it. There is power in “Jyo.”  It is able to adapt and slip into society like a social glue. But truly, shortening my name isn’t just about fitting in- it’s about how I have made “Jyo” my own. It makes me feel empowered, while simultaneously carrying familiarity and resting comfortably in the world around me as a nickname.

Yet, there have been instances when I want to make sure people understand and know my full name- Jyotsna. “Jyotsna” has a unique phonetic spelling. While I used to slightly despise pronouncing and spelling it out every so often, I have also come to realize that there is something about hearing the syllables roll out, even as I carefully explain that the ‘Y’ after the J is in fact silent. In Sanskrit, Jyotsna means “Moonlight.” Ever since I was little, the moon was present in the sky and it truly helped guide me home as a quiet constant in my life. As a child, looking up at the moon on long car rides home, I would be comforted by its presence and it made it seem like it was something that was purely mine. In a way, my full name brings me back to those memories, to the feeling of being guided home by something soft, yet strong. ‘Jyotsna’ grounds me in my roots and who I am at my core. 

When I got to university, I understood that people actually appreciated the uniqueness behind the name more than I realized. To many, I believe that names are more than just words; they are the sounds that people use to address us, to think of us, and ultimately connect with us. Moreover, they become a part of our identity in ways we may not always anticipate. My name can be confusing. But it is also a bridge between worlds, cultures, and different aspects of who I am. There is simplicity in “Jyo”, but overtime I have recognized the power and beauty in being called by my full name, Jyotsna.

So which do I prefer- Jyo or Jyotsna? The answer is, I love both. Both names let me explore different parts of myself, carrying different meanings and have helped me find my way back to myself. I don’t have to choose between them- they are both mine, and both provide a unique harmony to the essence of who I am.