Usually when I am asked this question, I am faced with a wide-eyed adult, wondering what a good daughter from an academically rigorous school wants to do with her life. Though countless people have always known what they wanted to pursue in life, and had goals they worked toward their whole life, I never really knew what I wanted to do, and still don’t. Since I am currently on the path of technology, I usually answer with something about artificial intelligence, or working at a big tech company- this satisfies the adult, and I am greeted with an approving smile and head nods. But is this really what I want to do? 

In technology, there is so much unpredictability of where to go, with all the different routes that connect to it and the overall toughness of the job market. Yes, there is always the “safe option” of landing a job at a big company, but with the economy, these jobs are getting harder and harder to land. And what about the other things I’m passionate about? Would I rather work for Microsoft, or a tech startup that tackles an issue I care deeply about? There are so many other factors to consider too, that I would not be able to predict right now that would also have an impact on my future goals. For example, if I had a partner, where are they located and would I have to find a job in that location to be with them? More importantly, there is the monetary aspect that comes with a job. Even if there was a tech startup I wanted to pour my heart and soul into, if my salary wasn’t livable, I couldn’t see myself working there. Sometimes, what I personally want is not enough to satisfy my other needs. 

This brings about clashing goals, where I can’t obtain one goal if I obtain another. If I worked at a tech startup that I really enjoyed, that would satisfy a goal. But if my salary was pretty low and I didn’t have a good work life balance, as most startups usually are, this would not satisfy my other goals. I don’t want to have to let go of all my passions for professional goals, but combining these would be an even harder path. My passions include sustainability and fashion, which don’t have much overlap in the technology industry. This sets limits for options, and besides being a tech startup, the only companies that would combine these paths would be SWE at a smaller, lower-paying clothing brand. 

Since the tech industry is so oversaturated right now, I also have to consider what to do if I’m jobless. Honestly, if I didn’t do software, I could see myself doing completely other paths too. For example, completely pursuing my passion and starting my own clothing brand, or doing SWE-adjacent jobs like product and project management. I sometimes think about this because I think I would also be happy working these jobs, though something like starting a business would be extremely hard to get up and running. With all these different options of things I potentially could do, it begs the question of what would fit my “standards” the most, rather than a perfect plan of a future goal.

Through all the twists and turns that come with wandering without a solid goal in life, I am also extremely grateful. Many people set goals for themselves so they have a purpose of what they are working toward, and know exactly what they want. However, this can narrow a person’s focus too much, to the point where they miss out on other opportunities. I definitely agree that it is good to set goals, but I think that being open to other paths and sometimes following impulses makes life more interesting. As someone who doesn’t know what they want to do, I have been able to participate in various experiences that have expanded my view of multiple career paths, which I am extremely grateful for. They have all definitely taught me countless lessons that I will use for the rest of my life and in my career. For example, participating in a fashion competition, where I was able to design and sew my own garments and dig deeper into my love for fashion. If I was super set on one career path, I wouldn’t have had these experiences as they were not all concentrated in one field. It’s crazy how we are brought up to always set goals for ourselves and feel that we need to stick to them, but in reality there is so much more to explore. Though I still don’t have solid plans for the future, I know I can trust myself to make the right decisions, and I will end up where I am meant to be. Throughout my life, I have progressed from feeling like I’m wandering aimlessly through a dark tunnel to feeling like I’m standing in front of a wide array of doors, all leading to different opportunities and paths I could take.