Currently, my skincare routine is streamlined into five major steps. Clease. Tone. Moisturize. Massage. Lip Mask. There was a time when my routine had no steps, and too many steps.
At the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic, a quirky and down-to-earth skincare influencer gained popularity on the recently launched app TikTok. Skincare by Hyram became the go-to online consultant for all things skincare. I often found myself begging my parents to drive me to Target to scour the shelves for any “Hyram-approved” skincare products. This was the calm right before the storm.
One of Hyram’s main concerns was the main ingredients that each product boasted. While chemicals such as squalene, hyaluronic acid, and lactic acid were celebrated. Chemicals such as sulfates and parabens were shamed. It was quite refreshing to hear that not all chemicals are bad for us, and that organic and natural don’t necessarily correlate to better quality products. My manhunt for good chemical formulas began as an adventure but slowly turned into an unsatisfying, never-ending torment. At one point, I was terrified of chemically impure products, so I resolved to only wash my face with Micellar water. This moment made me realize that I had swung so far to the opposite end of the pendulum that I found myself right back where I started.
In an effort to unlearn the obsessive behavior of ingredient checking, I started asking my grandmother what some of her favorite skincare products are. To my surprise, her youthful skin is sustained off of one product, one bottle of mystery moisturizer. The origin of this bottle of moisturizer starts from my aunt, who is my grandmother’s daughter-in-law. My aunt and uncle live in France, and she is extremely cautious about the moisturizers and skincare products she has in her home because her daughter (my cousin) used to have extremely sensitive eczema. This bottle of moisturizer happens to be one of her holy grail items every time my cousin has a flare-up (the moisturizer is non-prescription and non-medicated). My grandmother requested a bottle for her own personal use and shared some with me. Old habits die hard, and my first reaction was the check the bottle for the general ingredients of the moisturizer, but to my chagrin, there weren’t any. I hesitantly used the mystery moisturizer for the first time. I was reluctant and felt an indescribable skin-crawling feeling of regret for the first couple of hours after trying the moisturizer. Learning how to self-soothe for seemingly trivial matters is one of my most valuable skills that I rediscovered in this experience. Mystery moisturizers are present all throughout my life; some come in the form of regretful decisions and disappointing experiences. But I can self-regulate and trust that I can deal with the aftermath of my own choices, a hallmark of maturation. Since then, every 2 years, I get mailed a restock of my mystery moisturizer from my aunt in France.
That only explains one step in my skincare routine. The other steps also represent small fragments of my personal experience with living and learning. My cleanser is from Youth to the People, a brand that champions vegan and environmentally sustainable practices. My toner is from one of my favorite mom and pop shops in Chinatown, who carry all different types of imported Korean skincare and makeup. The reason I massage my face after my moisturizer is more of a mental reset than anything physical. I appreciate the couple of minutes of silence and direct contact with my face to reflect on how my day went or will go. Lastly, my lip mask was a gift from my mom when we traveled to China as a family four years ago. I had offhandedly mentioned to my mother how I was looking to get a heavier lip mask, and she surprised me the day before we leave back to America with exactly that.
What is my skincare routine? It’s a small physical manifestation of all the trinkets of experience I have accumulated as a person over the past few years.