Instead of choosing one frequently asked question, I want to show how these three—”Are you okay?”, “Why do you even support Arsenal?” and “What is your opinion about [insert anything]”—are connected. Together, they point to a deeper thought I haven’t often been asked, but I believe it’s worth exploring. This essay is my answer to that underlying question, one that’s for you as much as for me.

 

I’ll start by answering the easiest question: “Why do you even support Arsenal?”

   

For those who may not know, Arsenal was struggling until recently. We (I consider myself part of the Arsenal family) delivered dismal performances that baffled even the most loyal fans. Pundits had little faith in our ability to improve.

One match that stands out to me was in August 2021 against Man City. We used a single striker, parked five defenders at the back, and lacked strategy, conceding two goals within the first 12 minutes. Our vice-captain was sent off around the 35-minute mark, and we conceded three more goals before the 55th minute. I remember dreading school that week as everyone knew I was a huge Arsenal fan, and the taunts were relentless. And around that time, I got asked “Why do you support Arsenal?” a lot. I struggled to answer, even saying I might change teams after that 5-0 loss. Yet, there I was on match day, cheering for Arsenal and questioning, “Why do I really do this?”

What many people don’t realize is that our reasons for supporting a team often reflect something deep within us—qualities we want to emulate or that we already identify with. This extends beyond soccer to favorite artists or authors. Human beings are quite complex in what draws their interest, but the reasoning behind it is simple. Yes, our experiences can feel random. I was born into an Arsenal-supporting family, which influenced my initial choice. However, our decision to stick with something over time, despite hardships, challenges, and setbacks, is entirely personal and unique to each individual.

That’s why I support Arsenal: I see them as fellow underdogs. I’ve faced my own challenges, from struggling with writing in kindergarten to dealing with frequent injuries. Now, I’m trying to become a billionaire in a STEM field—yes, I envision myself as the next Aliko Dangote. I felt like I had finally found something that reflected my own experiences. So, for the past 13 years, I’ve kept track of Arsenal’s progress. If they can rise above their setbacks each season, then I could get back up after any other obstacle in life.

Recently, Arsenal has been performing exceptionally well and has been the best team in England over the past three years. Although we haven’t won the championship yet, statistically, no other team has performed better. I genuinely believe this is our year, so I may need to edit this later!

So if Arsenal can do it, why can’t I?

 

Next up: “Are you okay?”

           

Yes, I’m fine, but I get this question constantly. Having a scowling expression can be a disadvantage. Why would anyone smile to themselves when alone? Plus, smiling can lead to wrinkles as you age.

My high school friends were incredibly caring and often asked how I was doing. They genuinely wanted to know if I was fine, if I had any struggles, and if I needed help. However, I found that I was asked this question more than anyone else. As an introvert among extroverts, it was assumed that my quietness meant I wasn’t okay. When I listened but rarely spoke, they thought I must hate the conversation. They didn’t really understand me, and because I wasn’t as outgoing, I didn’t want to bother anyone. I appreciated their concern, but it became somewhat exhausting. So, I just prepared an automatic response: “Yes, I’m great,” even if I was having a terrible day. “Yes, I’m great,” even though I felt sick. “Yes, I’m great,” even when I lost my grandma.

So yes, I’m not always okay.

I had a tough time realizing that it’s okay not to be fine all the time. Those who care about you genuinely want you to open up and share your feelings. As someone who was an introvert but is now more of an ambivert, I’ve learned the importance of taking a moment for self-reflection during busy days. I understand that it can be difficult for some people to be open, so you have to invite them into conversation. I’m also now attuned to when people around me aren’t really doing well, even though they say otherwise.

So, that’s why I listen. You only truly understand someone when you hear them speak from the heart.

 

Finally: “What is your opinion about [insert anything]?”

             

You may notice that the answers to the first two questions actually address this last one. My life experiences have shaped my perspective, teaching me to view things from different angles.

Being an underdog has taught me that nothing is truly the end. You take the opportunities in front of you (carpe diem) and improve every day. Being an introvert has shown me the value of listening, allowing me to gain a certain respect that comes from being quiet enough to hear everyone else and saying what impacts others.

So, I’m loud about what I care about. I’ve gained a strong confidence in my beliefs and passions. I may be quiet when I’m not engaged. However, I don’t hesitate when it’s time to speak up or take action.

This wisdom comes from navigating new situations, leading me to a formula for forming opinions: assess the situation, listen to others, speak based on understanding, and finally, take action when the opportunity arises. This approach works in any life situation, I guess that’s why many of my friends often ask for my opinion.

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So…

Have you guessed the question yet?

By now, I trust it’s clear that throughout this essay, I have been addressing the thought: “Why are you?” (While this may not be the most grammatically correct phrasing, it was the first question that came to mind for this assignment.)

For the sake of clarity, I will rephrase the question: “Why are you who you are?”

All my life experiences shaped why I am me. And if even one of these were missing, I wouldn’t really be the same person I am today. 

Now, I encourage you to reflect and discover “Why are you who you are?” as well.