“Why do you care so much, Richard? You care too much…”
Passion is all around us. Each person on Earth loves something, has something they chase after relentlessly, and has something they hold dear. However, compassion and care are a different story. Passion exists inside of people. Compassion exists in a shed at 3 am cutting fiberglass. Passion is illustrated in the results of people’s actions. Compassion is exhumed with the buckets of cookies munched on and the sweat rolling down the face helping finish a task for someone– it’s a difficult process. It’s easy and more popular for people to possess a deep passion. It’s less common to possess great and deep compassion. I have this type of compassion deep in my DNA, along with many delicious cookies and milk. Due to how uncommon this degree of self-sacrificing compassion exists in people, people always ask me, “Why do I care so much,” when it’s 3 am, I have bags under my eyes, and I’m meticulously epoxying wood and cardboard together while editing a CAD file. I merely look up to them and smile. I am a compassionate person. I am a servant leader. This is who I am.
If I were to do a deeper dive into answering that common question, it’s best to start with why. In terms of the why, I would attribute it to these reasons: I have a bleeding heart that “runneth over,” I am empathetic and strive to invest myself into others, and I just straight up am a servant leader with the “cannot leave someone to die” mentality.
I have this knack where if anyone comes to me in need, I will drop everything and immediately help them. It doesn’t matter how busy I am. I’ll find a way to re-organize my schedule to aid them. My bleeding heart “doth runneth over,” where I exhibit my overflowing compassion and do whatever I can to help them. I strive for connection in life. I firmly believe the best way into someone’s heart is not through their stomach with yummy ooey-gooey chocolate chip cookies but through genuine connection. I can create these connections through my great sense of empathy and how much I invest myself in them. I actively understand them through my empathy and demonstrate my care through my invested actions. Having this kind of compassion is essentially what it means to be a servant leader. Unlike traditional leadership, this kind of leadership resembles that of a more “authentic leadership” as it is called. Authentic leadership is a style of leadership that contains a high degree of integrity and takes responsibility for the team. It focuses on creating genuine relationships and growth rather than short-term success. A servant cares for people and doesn’t leave anyone behind when the team progresses forward, typically one for all, all for one mindset.
However, it goes even deeper than that. Now it is necessary to look at the so. Why do I care so much? What makes the degree of my care so unique? Life is hard. Everyone knows that however, my life has been quite difficult, so much so that I have honestly been through it all (or at least a good deal of insane stuff happening). It is so much that I wouldn’t wish this trouble and pain on my worst enemy. Thus, I have this feeling that I don’t want other people to go through the same pain and tribulation I did. I don’t want people to have the pain of not being chosen, the pain of being alone in the world, the pain of trials and tribulations, and having to take them on by themselves. I was there, left on the side of the road in the rain. When the going gets tough in robotics, I was thrown away. I never really had a friend group I belonged to. I was always the guy left standing in the corner, alone. I’ve been in silent struggles, the deepest and hardest battles people fight. I have taken on many gruelling tasks causing mental and physical pain. No one should have to go through it alone. It is quite simply too much for one person.
Everyone deserves to have someone in their life, someone they can turn to, someone who chooses them, someone they can rely on, someone they can laugh with, cry with, and celebrate with. Humans are social creatures. We live for connection. Life is inherently hard but it is insane taking it all on alone. I want to be that somebody to someone. I want to take life head-on with them, to guide and support them. I want them to feel chosen and wanted. That is why I care so much.
Ultimately, everyone deserves to be happy and be in a state without pain. Perhaps it’s my emphatic heart talking here but I cannot stand to see people suffering and not doing well from my personal experience of how hard going through it alone is. If I ask someone how they are doing and they say “fine” or “ok,” I ask them “Why just that?” I like to either help listen to what’s going on in their lives or help understand the context and try to help. If there is some way where I can take away any trouble or suffering, I will do the best of my abilities to alleviate it. I love to see it when people are happy, bubbling over laughter and flashing sparkling smiles. That’s why I care so much.
I like to believe that caring so much is not necessary too much. You really can’t care too much since it’s relative. I don’t feel like I care so much but rather I am showing the necessary amount of care someone needs. We all deserve someone who cares deeply about us and shows great compassion to us. Care is such an integral part of life and relationships. Through this degree of care and my reasons for why I care, I have made some deep, meaningful relationships that are just beautiful.