Vivian Lin

When people ask me where I am from, I often feel embarrassed at first, my cheeks would feel warm as I prepare myself to react to eyebrow raises, wide mouths and a sense of intrigue. Then, they would most likely proceed to ask me why I moved there after I tell them I was born in New York.

Honestly, how would I know? I had no choice.

I am from South Carolina, which in my mind is a downgrade from the previous places I lived: China and New York. I missed the comfort of being around others like me in China, enjoying the same type of cuisine and celebrating the same festivals or holidays. I missed the bustling city of New York, being able to experience something new each day, walking around with friends and going to parks. Yet suddenly, I was dropped into the foreign land of South Carolina, where there were no longer big skyscrapers nor people with my same culture. The only thing I found intriguing was the number of trees there were in this little town called Anderson; and there were indeed a lot of trees. It was like people started building suburban homes in Central Park.

However, I realized something recently after talking to someone with very similar shared experiences: his name is Will and his parents were also immigrants and they also manage a restaurant. I have always blamed the restaurant for the reason why my parents decided to settle down in South Carolina. Out of all the states, they had to decide on this restaurant in this little town? Yet, after talking to him, my perspective started to shift. I’ve realized that I shouldn’t blame my parents for picking this state because they probably didn’t have a choice. This is also their first life trying to make a living and settle down to raise their children. It just turned out that this was the state that my parents saw an opportunity. They have worked tirelessly to keep the restaurant running so that I could have a different future from them. It would probably make them happier if I found a job in a bustling city in New York or elsewhere. Though I realize that after I graduate from Rice, I may also be forced to live in a less desirable area if it meant I had a job and could support myself.

Will’s perspective on the restaurant was also interesting. He explained that he is actually very open to continuing managing the restaurant opened by his parents. He is so ambitious that he has already opened a second business with his dad. What is even crazier is that Will is only 20. He told me that he wanted to continue improving the businesses and make the businesses his own or pass it down to his younger sibling so they can have a head start. He saw this business as an investment and opportunity to be cultivated into something big, while I saw my parents business as a dead end. I realized that I was narrow-minded; I had a specific mindset shaped by my parents as they often told me that I should never have to work in a restaurant in the future to be deemed successful. They did not want me to experience the same tolling hours and physical labor. They hope that I have more freedom in choosing where to live and the job I work.

This changed my perspective on South Carolina. I realized that South Carolina was not a dead end but an opportunity that allowed my parents to live a better life. The house we live in now is probably three times bigger than the cramped apartment we lived in while in New York. The car we get to drive now is much more luxurious than the 2005 Rav4 that my parents started with. South Carolina may be where my parents settled down, but it is just the starting point for me.

While living in South Carolina has made me feel out of place especially when I was one of the three Asians in my high school, it taught me many lessons and experiences that helped me grow into the person I am today.

Back in South Carolina, I have always felt out of place, as there is little diversity. I was one of the three Asians in my high school and that made me feel like being Asian was a disadvantage. I would blame my identity for not being able to assimilate into the culture as quickly or not being able to make as many friends as others. However, my different identity and culture has taught me how to communicate with others different from me which I realized was a valuable experience. I learned how to navigate conversations with people who had never heard of Lunar New Year or dim sum, just like I listened to their stories about hunting trips or family traditions that felt foreign to me. I found myself adapting and embracing it with confidence rather than hiding my identity. My experiences taught me how to step outside my comfort zone and build relationships with people whose lives looked nothing like mine.

Looking back, I realize that the discomfort I once hated has been one of my greatest lessons. It forced me to develop adaptability, patience, and a curiosity for perspectives different from mine. While I may not have chosen to grow up in South Carolina, I now understand the ability to connect with people, no matter their background. It’s a skill that will follow me far beyond the borders of this little town, shaping the way I engage with the world wherever I go.